1. How old were your kids when they potty trained?
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2. I've heard girls are usually easier than boys... was that true for you?
3. What methods seemed to work the best? Bribery, sticker chart, etc.?
4.Are there certain books you read that had tips that actually worked? PLEASE tell me books that you liked... and which ones you thought had terrible ideas.
5.The thought of 2 kids in diapers is less than exciting. Those of you that have done 2 in diapers would you do it again or not? This is the reason I'm asking about this so early; before we decide to have another little diaper-maker I want to have some idea about how long until our first little diaper-maker graduates. Diapers are not the biggest factor in that decision, but it's definitely worth some consideration. I'm very analytical, if you haven't noticed, and I like to be prepared. Even if it's impossible to always be prepared with kids, I like to try!
Thanks Cort for the picture!
I know there are no hard and fast rules about kids and each kid is unique, but I also know I learn a lot by talking to other parents so bring on the potty training advice. Thanks in advance for your input!
I think that every kid is different and it also depends on what is going on in their life. I have a friend who swears there is no point in potty training boys until they are 3, but I have no experience with boys.
ReplyDeleteI will tell you my big long story! Potty training was a nightmare, quite honestly. Camille was showing interest probably a little before age 2, so I thought, "why not give it a try." We got a potty chair and one morning, I got it out. She sat down, we read a story and boom, poop and pea in the potty. I wiped her, she turned around and looked at it, got a look of horror on her face and didn't go back in that bathroom for 6 months. Needless to say, we didn't potty train at that time.
Later, it became obvious that she was ready, but she just wasn't very cooperative. I read the "potty train your child in a day" book, but maybe it was because I had two little ones, that didn't work for me. She wouldn't tell me when she had to go, but I knew she could do it. For Camille, she seems to do best if she figures it out on her own, so finally, I decided to just stop bugging her about it and put her in panties. She went a couple of days with accidents and it was awful, but on like day 2 or 3, she went in and went potty by herself, and she was pretty much potty trained.
Then we moved across the country, a month later. We did really good keeping her going in the potty through the entire move. Then the day we moved into our new home, she was sick and slept the entire day on the couch. I didn't have much choice but to put her in a diaper. Then her dad got sent TDY for two months, so her world basically fell apart. That was it for her, and we were back in diapers. I tried again about once a month after that to see if she was ready and eventually about 6 months later, she got it, by means of bribing with a princess dress.
Lucille was another story all together. Lucille had complete control of her bladder at the time I was training Camille the first time, but she is a stubborn thing. I always knew that she would do really well once she decided to do it, but until that point... I tried to potty train her along with Camille, but she never really cooperated. Once Camille was potty trained, I became more ernest about Lucille. I wanted to have no kids in diapers before I got pregnant again. I finally bought one last box of diapers at Costco, and started telling Lucille each time I changed her that it was the last box of diapers. She somehow embraced that idea. It also helped me that she wanted to wear panties. (Camille never did, she wanted a diaper so she could go in it, so I forced her to wear panties.) Eventually, she had a one strike rule - one accident and she was in diapers the rest of the day. She wanted panties so badly that it didn't take her long.
To potty train at night, I bought each of the girls a set of toddler bed bedding that they chose. (Camille got princess and Lucille Fairies.) Then they had to earn their bedding by staying dry at night, and then re-earn it after an accident. Camille only lost her princess bedding once, and then was accident free at night for a long time. Lucille had already been dry all night for months and months, so it was easy for her.
Sorry to be so long winded. Basicaly, what I have learned is, it is hard to force them to do it before they are ready, and they have to decide they want to do it (even if you force them into that decision some way) and what works for one kid won't necessarily work for the next one, so think about their personality. I have only 5 months left before I have to start the whole diaper thing again.
Only advice I have: it's not about their age. Potty train when they can talk. Not one or two or twenty words, but basically complete sentences. The ability to communicate is essential; this is one of the main reasons girls successfully potty train earlier than boys, almost universally. They tend to talk sooner. Audrey was about two and Brennan was older... not quite three? We'll see with Gideon, he's already two and potty training is the least of our worries for the moment.
ReplyDeleteOnce you reach that point, there are lots of methods and I don't know much about any of them. But talking? Essential.
The twins trained a week before they turned 2.5. I think my boy is just different- he has been faster at everything (crawling, walking, potty training). I honestly don't think Hannah would've trained right then if he didn't (she did take a few days longer to catch on). Mine did well with sticker charts- sticker if you go in the potty, take one off if you have accident and then reward at the end. Mine were also excited to wear the cool 'training' pants we got them.
ReplyDeleteAidan is now 26 months and he talks about the potty a lot, but doesn't mind his diaper wet or poppy. I had hoped to train him before the next baby comes, but he will only be a month older than 2.5 (so 31 months) so I am not going to push it. I have heard that newly trained kids tend to regress when a newborn comes, so I don't really want to try to train him right before.
But the joke around here is that he will be trained before Issak, who is taking forever!
Erin- I'm SO glad you posted this! I was wondering the same things!!! You're always one step ahead-love it!
ReplyDeleteI think you've already heard my potty training stories. To sum up: Potty Training is torture, and no one who hasn't potty trained should think they "know" how many kids they're having!
ReplyDeleteMadi used to bring us diapers when she was 1. A month before she turned 2 she potty trained for about 2 weeks. Told us when she needed to go, wore panties, the whole bit.
Then she quit. After a couple weeks of poop in the panties, I put her back in diapers. Which people tell you never to go back.
Two-year-olds vacillate between independent/stubborn and cooperative. So the potty training is most likely to happen when they're in a cooperative stage.
Once Madi became cooperative, she potty trained easily at age 2years and 4 months. We used sticker charts, fruit snacks, etc.
To keep up the excitement, the first sticker chart/index card was for pee, when she got it full she got to get the prize she'd been longing for: a blue's clue plate.
The second sticker chart, we started at the same time, but it takes longer to fill up: Poop. So, when she got about 15 stickers or whatever, off to walmart for the blue's clue bowl.
Then we started the 3rd sticker chart, which was staying dry at night. My girls almost always woke up dry in the morning anyhow. But the sticker chart was a way to prove to myself and them, that they could keep the diaper dry all night, and make it to the potty first thing in the AM. Another prize, and TADA! Potty Trained. Moved to panties in the night, and out of the crib into the toddler bed.
The sheets sounds like a good idea.
Lia was too busy to be bothered, and wasn't in a cooperative stage. She was 2 years 9 months.
When they had accidents, they had to get a towel, dry it up, take the panties and towel to the wash machine, and then "practice" Which I read in a book. They hated to practice.
It went like this: "What if you'r watching TV, and Pee is coming, what should you do?" Run. Run. Hurry. Hurry. And they'd have to run to the potty, and practice pulling down the clean panties quickly and getting on the pot. Repeat 9 more times in various scenerios all around the house.
We liked a little Potty traing book about a girl named Hannah. That helped.
My advice is don't do it until you're sure they're ready. It's just torture otherwise.
Most boys seem to be 3+ that I've seen. I know a family with 4 boys. When each one hit the 3rd birthday. They had a big celebration, threw out the diapers. My boy is currently 21 months. It's a very long time until he's 3!
Another point is that it's not a good idea to shame them, spank them or yell at them. Potty training needs to be as upbeat and positively reinforcing as you can manage.
Lia did talk later than Madi. That's a good point.
ReplyDeleteCharlie can understand lots. But what sentences does he need to speak to potty train? Hmmmm../
The kid has to be ready. If you do it too early it's the Mom that is trained - not the kid. If you want you can do that early. Taking them to the potty when first wake up, after meals etc. But really they need to be old enough to get on the potty themselves and talk.
ReplyDeletePotty training was the worst part of having a kid. I hated doing it. Was glad to be past that. Kids are stubborn and will do things at their own pace. If they want to they will - if they don't want to they will refuse and nothing you try will work.
I can not comment on girls, but I can on my boys.
ReplyDeleteDavid was old enough to communicate, around 2 I believe. I knew he knew what he was doing. I tried training pants and he didn't try. So I said well if you aren't going to try I am putting you back in diapers. I then put him in 2 cloth diapers. He didn't like that! He was use to disposable diapers, ultra thin and dry, and he wanted out of those ones and so he decided to try and was trained in one day. Jonathan was trained at 1 1/2 then had RSV and was in the hospital and they put him in diapers and then he wouldn't go back to underwear so I put him back in diapers for about a year and then he was really easy to train in a week. So I didn't really have a hard time with either one of them.
well, I have no experience in training my own children ..yet, but my mom said that I was potty trained at 18 months because I was around other cousins who were a trained and I wanted to be just like them. So I guess that it was up to me. I am so glad that you posted this question. I love the comments and I will probably do the same thing soon!
ReplyDeleteWell, I had 2 in diapers and I can tell you...it's not so bad- frankly a JUST potty trained toddler is a LOT more work than a 2 year old in diapers. When they gotta go they mean NOW- and if you're feeding a baby it can be a problem.....
ReplyDeleteAnyhoo-Emma was 2 years 7 months and we went "cold turkey" during the day. We had a LOT of accidents, but I knew she could do it so I pushed on. Then, day 4 it clicked and she peed like a pro. Poop was a whole thing and took like a month and bribery of a collection of my little ponies, but we got it done.
Andrew will be starting in the next couple weeks. I know he can do it, but I am just as prepared this time to clean up a lot of carpets.
I've never read one potty training book I thought was "great" for kids but we made up lots of little songs to lighten the situation.
Our favorite tool is the Baby Bjorn potty-worth its weight in gold I tell ya. Especially for very short children who can't possibly get on the toilet themselves but HAVE to do everything themselves (Andrew). I also reccomend the thick training pants and plastic pants over them instead of pull ups (which are just diapers). I never put a pull up on Emma when she was awake for any reason. When we went out in the early days (which we did only when absolutely necessary) she wore thick training pants, plastic pants and I carried extra clothes and a towel. I ended up using them but she only had one accident in public before she learned to listen to her body.
She still doesn't wake up dry and doesn't drink anything before bed. I blame this on genetics since Mike wet the bed til he was like 7. I am not worried about it since she has been perfectly potty trained for over a year.
Woa. You got essays here! This is a hot topic for moms, in case you weren't already aware of that. :)
ReplyDelete1) Seara was 3 1/2, Elijah was just barely two. She wasn't ready at two (when I first tried and failed), and he was waaaay mature for his age. (And basically potty trained himself.)
2) Seara was a tad bit easier, but she was a year older than Lije. If you compared age to age, he was a gabillion times easier. I think its a personality thing.
3) I gave one m&m after pee, two after poo. All other methods I used were little inspirations that worked perfectly when I got the prompting, but were very individualized to the child and situation.
4)I read a lot of books and found out that while they all gave great ideas, what worked best for me was to make potty training an intensely prayerful situation where I tried REALLY hard to be in tune with the Spirit. So pretty much all my ideas came from that and I would say that no book is really necessary. Most of the ideas you'll get, you can get from friends and what not. The best advice I got was from my sister, not a book.
5) Heck ya I would do it again. I had three in diapers for about 9 months and I would do it over a thousand times. Much better than doing one in diapers and fighting the others to go in the potty!
I had a dozen people tell me this, but it wasn't until I did it that I understood. I know others have already said this, but DO IT WHEN THEY ARE READY. If they fight you, they aren't ready. And DON'T let it become a power struggle.
\Seara was older, but she was potty trained in a day. She has wet her pants once. She has pooped her pants once. All I did was say, "You go potty in the toilet now." And that was that. No pain. Elijah wet about once a week for the first month. And that was that with him. Neither have wet their pants (or their beds) in about five months. So how do you know if they are ready? Seara was just so old, I knew she could do it. But the only reason I did was because Elijah wanted to. He insisted on going potty in the toilet. In fact, for the whole week before I decided to potty train him, he never once wet his diaper. He made me take it off so he could go in the toilet. He was the one that figured it out and decided that he wanted to do it.
The one thing that I did that I thought was brilliant (okay, inspired), was that I invited them to come the bathroom with me every time I went. Sometimes they came, sometimes they didn't. And we talked about what happens. (You know, "Look, mommy goes peepee in the toilet! Good girl mommy! Okay, now you wipe with toilet paper. Alright, let's flush it. Time to wash hands!" So they knew exactly how everything worked and what to do. I did that for about six months before I trained them. Not intentionally, I just felt like I should. Later kids tend to potty train faster than the first one, and I swear it's because they see their siblings go. So I tried to avoid that problem. I know it sounds super weird, but hey, my two were easy peasy to potty train!
My boys were each just over 2 1/2. I used the How to toilet train your child in one day book (the same copy my mom used with me--super old!) But it worked great. Ethan was literally pretty well trained in a couple days. Carter took a little longer--I think he had accidents for a while, but after a month he was trained. I left them in diapers at night (and later, Pull-Ups) until they were pretty consistently dry--I think that's more a bladder maturity issue than a training issue at that age. It only took Ethan a few months, but we finally got Carter a bed-wetting alarm at age 6 that did the trick. Annika I was never able to really get trained, but obviously she was more complicated and challenging than your average kid. I've only had 2 in diapers for the few months between Annika's birth and Carter being trained. I agree that it was easier having the 2 in diapers than handling a training and then recently-trained 2 year old. It was nice that Ethan was trained before Carter came along, but then they are pretty far apart. To sum it up, I loved the one day method--you really put your all into it, it's very positive, lots of practice, really works, although easier for some than others. I didn't try it with Annika, because she was so old by the time I tried with her that I thought she would just get it (which she did, but then she had a rebellious regression when we started feeding therapy). So personally, I'll keep using that method.
ReplyDeleteYou are ambitious to even think about potty training! The best advice I ever heard was "Wait til they're 3 and bribe them with a bike." Haven't tried it yet but it sounds alot easier than the potty candy, go every 20 mintues method I always used.
ReplyDeleteWHOA! Do you even need any more advice?
ReplyDelete-I agree, it's a lot easier when they can talk
-wait until they are waking up from naps dry more than less
We have had the whole spectrum of potty success and failure. Nora was only 16 months, but she was talking as waking up from naps dry. So after naps we would go potty and she figured it out pretty quickly. I think the older they get the more effective bribery becomes.
We have had 2 in diapers several times and it's not a big deal at all (quite the opposite really).