Whitmer Matters: Chandra Goodman

Wednesday, February 1, 2023

Chandra Goodman

The day before my 38th birthday my sweet friend Chandra Goodman passed away after almost 11 years of fighting cancer off and on. Even though she'd been sick for so long it still hit me pretty hard. She was born the same year I was, and her only daughter Kaydence is right between my girls' ages. She lived near the end of Nevada Way from August 2015-May 2019 when she got cancer for the last time and moved to her parents and then Eastmark. She was my ministering sister and we served in young women's together for a few years. I feel so blessed by her example and friendship. She was such a light. She lived life so fully and joyfully. She didn't waste the precious time she has with negativity or worry. She loved and served and had tons of fun and included everyone. I learned so much from the way she lived her life and handled her trials of cancer and infertility. She was one of the most Christlike people I know.

Her funeral was January 28th, it was so hard to watch Kaydence cry during the musical number and realize she won't have her mom on this earth. The musical number by Rachel DesVergnes was perfect and her dad had the funniest stories about Chandra growing up.

I have an alarm on my phone to pray for her for years at 9am. The first time it went off on my birthday, I started praying for Tanner and Kaydence instead and in gratitude for Chandra being such a magnification of Christ's love for me and so many others. I took pictures of pictures from the album her mom made for her last birthday on earth so the quality isn't the best.

Our Last Night of Excellence with Liahona ward, right after the ward's separated in Chandra's backyard in November 2017 We had so much fun putting on fundraisers, having parties at her parent's house, movie nights, couples Valentine parties, and Book of Mormon photo shoots. She took our Whitmer family pictures also in 2017. She hosted a few Princess Balls and Abby, Charlotte and Matt got to go to one.

She took all the curveballs of life and showed us all how to go through hard trials with joy and so much faith. She had such a strong child-like faith and she loved to share her testimony.

Chandra always planned the best birthdays. We did a staycation at a hotel, dinner, massages, a movie, and breakfast. It was so much fun! R to L Rachel DesVergnes, Mica Mckee, Chandra Goodman, Erin Whitmer, Lori Wood, Sarah Done, Angie Papa, Sarah Blake. I love these ladies!

Chandra loved to host parties, especially karaoke nights at her parents!

I think this is at Chandra's house but I don't remember the occasion.

Soda/Swig shop walk, Chandra met us there in her golf cart- she loved to drive around! R to L Sarah Done, Cayleen Lyons, Rachel DesVergnes, Chandra Goodman, Jami Hatch, Michelle Parker, Erin Whitmerrr

I took these pictures to be able to find her grave and visit her in Mesa Cemetary since it's one of my favorite things to do. I'm so glad her grave is close to my house.

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Charlotte Says

age 9 2018 Went she doesn't want to do something real slow, "Cockle. doodle. doo."
5/16/16 After swimming, "Can you turn the air conditioning on hot?" Mom, "That's called the heater, and no."
6/3/15 Driving by the high school Charlotte said, "I don't want to be teenager, they have stinky armpits."
3/31/15 "I had to take a really long shower so all the hot water could kill my cold germs inside me."
12/6/14 "I'm going to ride a motorcycle when I'm older. With a boy!" Matt, "No never." Charlotte, "I'll just wait until you die and then I can do it." Matt, "I guess I won't have any say then."
11/26/14 Reading Harry Potter #1 "A turban is a piece of cloth you wrap around your head like a hat." Charlotte, "I know that. I know everything."
11/26/14 "Charlotte, "I'm going to run in the turkey trot at school today! The winner gets a turkey." Me "Oh cool." Charlotte, "I'm gonna bring it home on the bus and feed it rocks." Me, "Wait you think you win a pet turkey?"
8/31/14 "I don't like raspberries because they're hairy and fat."
5/17/14 "I need to invite McKinley to my birthday because she has such a cute little face!"
4/26/14 "I wish I was Abby. She's so pretty." (I assured her that she is beautiful too!)
4/10/14 "A boy at preschool is always asking to marry me." Me, "Why does he want to marry you?" Charlotte, "Because I'm crazy, and funny, and smart." Me, "What do you tell him?" Charlotte, "I don't tell him anything, it's embarrassing!"
2/16/14 A man who looked Hispanic was talking in church, "Is that President Obama?"
2/3/14 Quite pleased with her outfit of the day, "I'm so adorable!"
10/5/13 "I want a laffy taffy for Christmas like Cai." Me, "You want some candy?" "No a laffy taffy you talk to." Me, "Oh a walkie talkie!"
9/28/13 " I got the window stickers to stay on the window! I just licked them!"
9/28/13 "I want to dial (dye) my hair!"
9/18/13 Trying to get me to drive faster to make it home for the ice cream man, "Drive the speed limit mom!"
8/2013, "You're the cutest baby in the whole world!"
8/2013 Talking to Miles, "You're a dream come true!" Olly yelling, "He's not a dream come true his name is MIles!"
8/23/13 "Can we put the baby back in your tummy for awhile?"
7/13 "I need the blonde crayon for her skin."
6/25/13, "You're getting more humongouser."
5/1/13 Charlotte shoved a bunch of craft sticks in her baby doll's diaper and I asked her why, "She has an eye mafection and a bum mafection so I have to keep the sticks in her bum."
3/25/13 Heard from the bathroom while talking with a sweet elderly lady who visit teaches me, "I have REALLY BAD diarrhea!" Can I pray she couldn't hear her?
11/2012 While praying, "Please bless grandmas and grandpas that don't hear so well. Bless people who eat too much."
9/30/12 While pushing the stroller on a walk with her eyes closed, "I walking asleep." Me, "You're sleep walking?" A while later, "I woke up. I'm so happy now I'm rested!" A valiant attempt to skip nap time.
9/2012 Occasionally when I ask Charlotte to do something, "Yes your Majesty."
9/11/12 "I'm a little sick. My throat has a hole in it. I can't swallow the slobber- it just spits out."
9/1/12 Often when she's excited or surprised, "Oh my goody goodness!"
8/13/12 Olly is getting a candy for using the potty successfully Charlotte asks for one too and I tell her it's only for Olly to which she replies, "That makes me lonely."(She got 1 skittle for her creativity!)
7/7/12 Erin,"I"m so full." Charlotte, "You're gonna get chubby like the guy in Mulan. He has a belly like this-(arm motion). He ate too many carrots." Erin, "I don't think you get chubby from eating carrots." C, "He ate too much sugar!"
6/18/12 While pulling moms bangs away from her face, "You look like a different person." Mom, "Who do I look like?" C, "A dinosaur."
6/6/12 "I'm putting on lotion. Ballerinas like to smell nice."
6/6/12 Mom "Charlotte you need to do your chores please." C, "Ballerinas don't do chores."
6/6/12 "Oh no, I forgot to brush my teeth! I don't want to be a pirate!"
5/7/12 "I found my Diarrhea (Diary) of a Worm book!"
4/23/12 C"I just saw that box man!" Me, "Who?" C "He brings the boxes!" Me, "Oh the UPS man."
4/2/2012 "My bum is full of gas like a car."
2/25/2012 "Mom I'm going to feed my puppy all by myself. You leave me alone and go to the tree store. You buy a pet tree."
2/11/2012 "This is the deal mom."
2/6/2012 While praying "Now I know my ABC's next time won't you sing with me?"
1/31/2012 C, "Mom I want a Popsicle." Mom,"Probably not today." C, "Well- let's talk about it." Mom, "What do you want to talk about?" C, "You say, yes I can have a Popsicle okay?"
1/21/2012 I walk in to check on Charlotte doing her business in the bathroom and she spreads out her hands and yells, "Ta duh!"
1/16/2012 After finishing her breakfast she stands by the growth chart... C, "Mom look at me!" Me, "What am I looking at?" C,"I'm taller now!"
1/5/2012 Mom, "What would happen if everyone wiped their boogers on the couch?" C, "It would turn into a dragon muffin." Mom, "What?"
10/25/2013 Upon finding out the sweet girl who sells bread at our door every Friday was engaged to be married, "I hope I get to be the flower maid!"(We hardly know her by the way!)

Oliver Says

7/1/19 Visiting Marti's work, "I've never seen a moth ball like the one that you keep in a wardrobe" Marti, "No a moss ball" While reading the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
9/18/2018 Mom, "Does anyone know what this is?" Olly, "I do, I know what everything is. It's a glue thing."
9/16/2018 "Are dumplings baby ducks?"
9/8/2018 Olly talking about his balloon, "I don't want to tie mine, then I can't ever toot again!"
2/26/2017 Matt, "Olly say the prayer." Olly, "Ok google. I mean, Dear Heavenly Father." Google, "I don't know how to help with that yet, I am still learning" lol
7/16 At the mall I took a picture of them eating cinnamon pretzels and Olly said, "Oh no you got my sugar lips in the picture!' Then we called him sugar lips the rest of the trip and laughed and laughed!
6/19/16 Looking at a stack of scriptures on the table after church, "Wow how many stories did Jesus write?"
8/19/15 "Mom what is a minnow, like h i j k lminnow?" Mom, " You mean the letters L M N O?"
7/6/15 "Mom I left my grasshopper in my shorts pocket last night! He's prob-ly sneeking around the house." "Olly I washed your shorts!" "Uh-oh, well then he's prob-ly dead."
6/20/15 "Mom push down my hands." I do it. "Aww I'm weak sauce!" Laughing "What does weak sauce mean?"
6/3/15 After pooping, "Wow that was so big like a volcano!"
5/28/15 Matt was taking out the garbage and I made a comment about how smelly it was. Olly replied, "Is that the smell of you mom?!" Gee thanks son!
3/2015 Helping to plant our garden, "The tomato plants need cages so they don't run away."
3/26/15 Abby, "I want to be a nurse, and a doctor, and a mom." Charlotte, "I want to be a chef, C-H-E-F" Olly, "I want to be a ladybug."
3/31/15 "This flower has popped out, but all these ones still have to pop."
9/2014 "Can I have another patch of Cheez-Its?"
8/2014 I was talking to Charlotte after she had a timeout for being mean to Olly, Olly came and sat on my lap and after a few minutes said, "I'm here mom." Me, "Great Olly." A little while later, still waiting patiently on my lap, "You're forgetting something mom." Me, "What am I forgetting?" Olly, "She's supposed to say sorry and give me loves." hahaha!
7/1/14 After coming home from his party and lunch, "This is the best day of my life."
6/18/14 After a day of an unset tummy, "I went regular poop! Are you so proud of me mom?" Gross and cute!
6/2014 When he wants to say something happened in the past he says "Last day..."
6/10/14 After Matt was trying to explain his bad dream about a spider wasn't real Olly says, "What does a nightmare look like?"
5/2014 Olly, "Mom do you know what is the heafiest of ever?" Mom, "I don''t know what you mean." Olly, "Water is the heafiest of ever! Right?"
5/19/14 Charlotte, "Olly just hit me!" Mom "Olly why did you hit her?" Olly, "Cause I wanted her to chase me." I love that he explains so honestly this teasing boy method of getting what he wants.
4/18/14 Mom, "Sweet dreams kids." Abby, "I"m gonna dream about you mom!" Olly, "I'm gonna dream about doughnuts!"
4/24/14 Mom, "Olly you need to do your chores." Olly, "No thank you."
4/12/14 "I don't like to talk to big people or medium people. Only little people and mommy, and daddy."
4/20/14 Abby, "I want to marry Olly when I grow up." Olly (look of anger/horror on his face before Abby even finishes) "I don't wanna marry anybody!"
2/16/14 During prayers,"Bless mommy to be nicer, and Charlotte not to talk rude to me, and Abby not to pull on my ear like this (pulls on ear)" Guess all the women in his life were giving him grief, poor boy!
1/26/14 Me, "You're a smart cookie." Olly, "You're a smart brownie!"
1/28/2014 "Miles is making a grumpy face 'cause he doesn't like princesses either." (We were going to see some princesses at Chick-fil-et
1/15/13 After looking at the new hairbands I bought for the girls, "I wanna be a girl when I grow up."
9/2013 "Why did you do that Olly?" Olly, "Because yes."
9/4/2013 "Olly come to dinner." Olly, "Just a minute!"
9/4/2013 "I'm going to see the movie Austenland tonight." Charlotte, "I want to go." Me "It's a grown up movie not a little kid movie." Olly "I'm a little kid?" Me, "Yeah you are." Olly "I don't want to go to Austenland, I'm going to Carsland."
9/3/13 I hear flushing and Olly walks out of the bathroom proclaiming, "I washed my hands!" Me, "I didn't hear the water." Olly, "Oh sorry." Goes back in to actually wash them!
6/23/2013 Olly pointing to a car in a book, "I want that car for Chrees-mas." Abby, "You want every car in the whole wold!"
6/2013 Both Olly and Abby, "Where is um?"
6/21/13 When Abby woke up from her nap, "Abby I love you." Abby,"Love you too." Hug. awww
6/2/13 After explaining where food goes after you put it in your mouth, "I put it in my belly button."
3/11/13 Erin, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Olly "Daddy." After explaining different jobs I asked him again, "A scientist." A few days later, "Umm a robot."
3/8/13 "I want a little lightning car when I use the potty (sigh) I gonna be so happy!"
1/23/13 Olly had all his cars lined up and I asked him where they were going, "On a date."
11/12/12 "My name not Olly Jolly Christmas! I Olly Jolly Whitmer!"
10/8/12 When Olly saw his shadow he pointed at it and says in a sweet voice, "That's my Olly boy."
10/12 Abby, "Try this bro-ver it's yummy." Olly, "No it's ucky!"
8/2012 "I eat oatmeal. I like sugar."
2012 I say pointing to Olly in the mirror, "Who is that boy?" Olly says, "Handsome."
8/20/12 Charlotte says, "Eat your pizza Olly!" Olly shoves a spoonful of mac n' cheese in, "I eating right now."

Abigail Says

9/8/2018 Mom and Abby hugging. Mom, "You smell like starburtsts." Abby, "You smell like chore charts" (I have the chore charts on my lap;-)
7/30/18 "Are you allowed to kiss the puppy?" Me "yes" Abby whispers, "Good because I've been kissing her this whole time!"
2/26/2017 DIscussing that the twins can't be in the same classes together forever because they will have to pick different jobs someday etc. Abby says, "Yeah I'm going to pick the one job Olly can't do, I'm going to be a Mom!"
7/16 Olly pointed to a bra in a store and teased Abby, 'You're gonna wear one of these someday!" Abby immediately teased back pointing to the bra, "You're gonna wear one someday!" Abby has always been quick on the come backs!
6/20/16 "Guess who my BFF is?" "Marti!"
2/2016 Mom, "Miles has his undies on backwards." Oliver, "I had my undies on inside out." Charlotte, "I had mine on upside down." Abby, "I had my undies on nothing."
2/2016 Reading something on her homework in cursive, "I can't read this mom, I think it might be in sign language."
8/24/15 Mom, "Don't spill ice cream in the car." Abby, "Don't worry, I know how to lick things!"
8/24/15Waiting to get her blood drawn, "I wish my twin Olly were here so he could go first."
8/24/15 "I think my hair turned white when Elsa hugged me!"
8/21/15 Taking turns riding on the front of the stroller from the bus stop Olly, "When is it my turn Abby?" Abby, "When he get to the baseball bat." Me, "It's a basketball hoop." You know you never play/watch sports when...
7/28/15 "Mom can you stir on my bubbles lid?"
7/1/15 "Mom I always wish for the same thing. (talking about birthday wishes and coin toss wishes) and it NEVER comes true." "What do you wish for?" "To be a princess."
6/24/15 "My lips are spicy!" After eating orange chicken.
6/24/15 Abby who has had an upset tummy, "My tummy isn't rumbling anymore. Now it's my bum."
2/2015 Abby's new response to lots of things, "Oh who cares?!" For example "Abby your shoes are on the wrong feet.' Abby, "Oh who cares!?"
2/13/15 "Mom you haven't put a note in my Valentine mailbox in a couple of whiles."
11/18/14 "Sorry we couldn't get a car cart Olly, they were all tooken."
11/18/14 Abby "My tummy hurts." Mom, "Why is that?" Abby, "Probably 'cause I eat boogers." Laughing, "Why do you do that?" Abby, "Cause they're so yummy!"
11/4/14 Watching Frozen, "Why does Hans have lipstick on?"
11/4/14 Talking with Auntie Marti about which finger wedding rings go on in different countries, "So we're a left-handed country."
8/3/14 After telling her she has to take turns playing a game, "I always like to be first."
8/3/14 "Dad might be Scooby Dooby Doo because he can eat super fast."
8/3/2014 Telling Olly and Charlotte where to put puzzle pieces, "I'm always right." She kind of is when it comes to puzzles.
5/29/14 After buying cotton candy with her own money at the $ store Mom, "What does it taste like?" Abby, "Vanilla, No a blue bird cause I ate the blue part!"
5/15/14 After doing "Elsa hair" Mom, "Abby you need to clear your place." Abby, "I can't I'm a queen!"
5/16/14 "Charlotte is bossin' me!"
5/15/14 Miles crawls into the bathroom and Abby sings, "Here comes Miles up the coconut tree!"
4/25/2014 While Olly was gone on a camp-out with Matt, "I can't sleep without Olly next to me and I was gonna play with him but he left." Sometimes I wonder if they do anything but fight lately, so it's nice to hear Abby misses Olly when he's gone.
3/2014 Driving up to my parents house I point out the neighbor's horses Olly says, "They're beautiful!" Abby in a very matter of fact tone quickly replies, "Better than a donkey."
4/27/14 During prayers, "Bless Auntie Marti and me to find nice boys to marry."
2/17/14 "I want you to get out my summer Tinkerbell jammies. And you can't say no cause you're wearing your summer Tinkerbell jammies." Touche!
2/3/14 Overheard while playing dinosaurs with Olly, "You're green so you eat grass. I'm purple so I eat purple grapes, okay?"
1/15/13 Wiggling Miles' ear "Little ear little ear what do you see? I see a cutie Miles looking at me!" Any guess what book she likes to read?
11/11/13 "I need my ber-ella it's raining!"
10/5/13 "Get the sand out of my shoe Grandma. There's two."
9/20/13 She was dressed as a ballerina on our way to the store, Me, "Why didn't you buckle yourself Abby? It's time to go." Abby, "Ballerina's dance, they don't buckle."
9/18/13 Marti got splashed by Charlotte during bath time and Marti told her she was using Charlotte's towel to dry off. A minute later when Abby splashed her, "My towel's the purple one."
9/13 When she gets a cut, "I'm blooding."
9/16/2013 While going through her old clothes to give to Savannah "I 'post (supposed) to have these clothes." I think she was trying to say she used to have these clothes.
8/23/2013 "Babies cry a lot."
7/2013 After jumping off the diving board, after Olly had to be dropped off because he was worried she gets back to the side next to him, "That's how you do it bro-ver."
6/10/13 Abby, "Mom, Olly is my sweetie. (calling to him) Sweetie! Sweetie! Charlotte is my sweetie too. Time for bed sweetie." Can I just keep them little forever?
6/2/13 When sitting in her hot car seat, "My biscuits are burning!"
6/2/13 "No one likes a frowny face. No one likes a SMILE!"
5/8/13 When asking for the empty toilet paper roll to play telescope with, "I need that envelope!"
11/2012 My kids favorite lines from Where the Wild Things Are book updated- Abby, "Pick me up I love you so!" Olly and Abby to each other "I bite your face I love you so." Note they didn't really bite each other.
1/23/13 "Keep your hands to yourself Charlotte!"
11/1/12 "I scared of da cat. Cat eat my boots!"
11/12/12 When Abby wants me to trace her hand on paper, "Spell my hand!"
10/2012 When you start to sing with Abby, "You no singing that!"
9/7/12 "Abby what's my name?" Abby, "Erin-mom"
8/10/12 Olly says to Abby, "Abby-gail." In a sing-song teasing voice since he calls her just plain "Abby" 99% of the time. Abby says back, "Bro-ver-gail. Charlotte-gail."
4/14/2012 I see Abby picking her nose, "Abby do you need a kleenex?" Abby, "I pick it." Gotta love her first quotable quote.
10/20/2013 "Charlotte's not going to sleep, but I am!"
10/26/13 "Mermaids can't use flashlights Charlotte they don't work in the water!"
11/17/13 Mom"Abby you're such a pretty girl." Abby, "I know that!"
11/13 Smelling a rose in our front garden, "It smells like daisies!" Smelling her clean hands, "They smell like cheese!"
4/1/25 Mom, "What do I need to buy at the store?" Abby, "Happiness?" Mom, "I don't think they sell that at the store." Abby, "Yes they do- it's called ice cream and it's in the cold section."

Miles Says

4/21/2019 On a ward camp out where it was really cold the very first thing in the morning Miles grumbles, "I slept horrible!" Aftter he climbs in the parent's sleeping bag, "It smells like bad breath in here and... butt cracks!" We were dying!
2/27/2017 Not wanting to go to sunbeams, "I not free (three) I a baby!" Not wanting to sit in a car seat, "I not free I five!" Wanting to go to the auntie sleepover with the big kids, "I not free I five or seven." and "I sad at you" with big crocodile tears.
8/2016 Covered in mud he proudly declares, "Look how dirty I are!"
5/2016 During Gabe's very quiet high school graduation he yelled, "I need a bandaid on my eye ball." He bumped his eye on the edge of a paper I believe poor kid. Darrell and Rachel were cracking up.
5/7/2016 "I want to go to the warm pond." Trying to explain the Jacuzzi, makes his Cornville mama proud!
2/2016 Miles is going through a very contary stage where he loves to say no and he HATES things while on a walk mom said 'good morning to someone' Miles says, "No good morning, I HATE good morning."
2/2016 After sitting on his froggy potty looking at mom's phone for too long he finally got up and said, "My foot feel fluffy." Loved the description of a foot falling asleep from a 2-year-old!
3/30/24 "They're not pajamas, they're an everyday all-day thing." Miles about his cow onesie that he loves and wears way too much!
2023 Mom "How was your day Miles?" Miles "Bubba" or "Squishy" 2024 "Moo!"

Wednesday, February 1, 2023

Chandra Goodman

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