Miles- a "normal" birth story- at last!

Dad's short version of Mile's birth
The picture version
Read below for the uncensored version- because everyone needs 3 versions of their birth story!

"It is always a pleasure to come in on one's friends before the lookout begins.  I would not presume to do so in most cases, but I felt in coming home I might be forgiven." 
-Frank Churchill Emma 1996 movie

Miles definitely came before the lookout began.  I'm still working on my "Must Finish Before Baby #4 Comes List".  But I forgive him. As a plus I only had to be pregnant for 37 weeks!  The end of pregnancy is always the most uncomfortable. The women who make it to 40+ weeks are my heroes.

I'd been in overdrive for 2 weeks trying to get everything in before the baby came. Painting hallways and window seats, buying a dresser, washing itty bitty clothes, taking the kids swimming a few more times, starting to pack my bags...  I probably put myself into labor.

I had a few slightly painful contractions on Monday night after walking in the morning, mopping my floor, and swimming at a friend's house.  They went away quickly but I thought it was weird to have anything painful already.

 I was convinced I was going to go to at least 39 weeks this time. I'd been taking a DHA supplement (for brain development) for the first time this pregnancy. Some studies show DHA helps women with preterm labor carry their babies longer.  Charlotte came on her own 11 days before her due date.  The twins I was induced at 37 weeks 3 days. I thought for sure I'd at least make it to 38 weeks since I wasn't getting induced this time. I had a goal to finally have a 6 or 7 lbs. baby.  I ate a lot of Ben and Jerry's to help him along.

Friday, August 2nd, 2013

I stayed up way too late the night before cleaning and working on a pregnancy blog post I was planning on publishing in the morning.  Ha ha!

I woke up 2 or 3 times that night and noticed I had some contractions.  Then I would go back to sleep and wake up a few hours later with a few more...

5am I woke up again having some minor contractions.  I couldn't believe they still hadn't gone away. I think one of the keys to staying relaxed is being in denial as long as possible.  It definitely worked with my first labor and delivery. So I did what anyone would do- I downloaded a contraction timer app and started timing them. Or anyone with a smart phone dependence.  Every 10 minutes lasting 30-40 seconds each time- definitely a little bit of a cramping feeling instead of just Braxton Hicks.  I drank water, walked around, laid back down.  They still kept coming.  Finally, I decided to take a bath.

6:30 I hear 3 little voices outside the door.
"Some one's in there."
"I need to go pee."
"I no like you in my bathtub mommy."
"What you doin' in there?"
They all thought it was so weird I was taking a bath because I never do.  I did feel a lot better in the tub.  I got out, took a shower to wash my hair and shave.  Am I the only one who thinks it's weird to wash your hair in the tub? And no one wants hairy legs at the hospital.  I started to get the kids some breakfast and put a few more things in my bags.

7:30 Finally decided I should wake up Matt.  "I've been having contractions since 5 o'clock every 10 minutes.  I was worried he would freak out, but Matt is invariably calmer than me during labor.

 "Just lay down and they'll probably go away."

 "That's what I'm telling you, they aren't going away."

 He looks at my contraction app, "Oh you really have been having them since 5?"  Apparently he believes my phone more than me!  The kids keep climbing all over me while I'm having contractions laying on my bed.  I was ready to go to the hospital!

8:00 Call Kori and tell her we might be bringing the kids by after I talk to the midwife.  Call the midwife on call, Janice, and she says to come in and get checked since my other deliveries were so fast.

Finish doing my hair.  Yes, I'm vain. When the rest of my body feels like I was hit by a truck it's nice that at least my hair looks okay for the baby's first pictures!  I didn't manage to get my pedicure before he came.

Frantically finish packing my half- packed bags and charging the cameras.

8:30  Matt drops the kids off at my sister's house.  Charlotte was so excited and asked every 10 minutes if we'd had the baby yet.  On the way out the door Abby tells me, "Have fun mom!"   Sure thing Abby! Thanks Kori for dropping all your plans to watch 3 more kids ALL day!

As soon as we get in the car my contractions go from 10 min apart to 20 min or more apart.  I only had 1 contraction on the way there.  Really?  I'm having false labor with my 4th baby?  I felt so silly.  But since I'd already called my midwife and dropped the kids off I figured we better go check.  Much less dramatic drive to the hospital than with Charlotte.  I called the midwife to tell her we were on our way, and  called my sister Marti and my mom to say I might be in labor.  Mom did really well staying calm. Marti was squealing with excitement as I recall, and she ended up ditching work for the day to paint our hall and clean my house!

 I went to Mercy Gilbert this time which is about 30 minutes from our house.  Matt and my midwife wanted me to come in sooner rather than later since my labors go so fast.  I was trying to tell myself it might be slow this time so I wouldn't have my hopes up.

9:00 We walk in and get checked-in.  I feel totally fine.  I ride the wheel chair up the elevator to triage and get changed and strapped to the monitor to see if I'm having any contractions for 20 minutes.  I have a couple but again they were further apart and nothing too intense.

 The midwife comes to see me- I tell her I feel like I'm probably there too early, but they were painful and consistent before.  She checks me- "Dilated to a 5, bulging bag of waters."  I didn't make it all up, we're going to have a baby today!  This is when you're supposed to get to the hospital- not when you're in transition ready to push!  I was so excited!

10 am I meet my nurse, Francine, who I have the whole time.  This is the first hospital visit I felt like I bonded with my nurse.  I hugged her when she said goodbye.  She was wonderful!  She asked me what I wanted at the beginning and then she supported me the rest of the time.  Since I was only 37 weeks they couldn't give me anything to speed up labor since it wasn't medically necessary.  That was fine with me since I like to do it naturally anyway.  We called my sisters and our parents to let them know we were admitted.

Francine said I could walk the halls for a little while.  I was kind of excited, I'd never walked the halls before!  I probably only did 3-4 laps for about an hour but I felt more like what I'd prepared for with Charlotte.  I did have to stop and breathe through the contractions at this point- most were every 8 minutes.

I really was just relaxed and excited most of delivery. 

11 am After about an hour Matt said if I wanted to do the tub we should tell them to fill it up now or I'd never have time to use it.  He always thinks I'll go super fast and I'm always in denial.  I changed into my swim suit (a tankini).  She said I could get in naked if I wanted, it was up to me.  Since you're not supposed to deliver in the water at the hospital, (they have to throw the tub away if you do), I decided I'd rather be a little more modest and wear the bottoms too.  When the guy from "nutrition" brought my chef salad for lunch he tried very hard to talk to me without looking at me.  I guess he wasn't sure if I'd have a swim suit on or not!  Every 30 minutes or so my nurse would use a small hand doppler and check the baby's heart rate while I was still in the water.  He always did awesome- even during contractions.  The nurse said when they have to use pitocin to induce labor the baby's heart rate often has issues, which then can lead to a c-section if they're worried about the baby. It's amazing how your body knows how to do it.

11am-12 pm Man oh man did I LOVE the tub!  It really helps relieve the pressure.  I didn't feel like I was tense, but as soon as I got in the water I realized I had been.  It's amazing how much less intense the contractions felt.  I don't know if it's the warmth or the buoyancy of the water, but it's AWESOME!

 They put in a disposable liner for each patient- and they hook the hose up to the facet in the bathroom and fill it up.  They add more hot water later if it cools down.  They can't use the same hose twice, so they give it to you when you leave. Weird.   It was kind of funny to be sitting in this huge inflatable tub hanging out while Matt and I chatted for an hour but I didn't want to get out!  Matt started reading "The Cuckoo's Calling" J.K. Rowling's book she tried to sneak by everyone by using Robert Galbraith as a pen name.  I liked that the pool was right in my room.  I was eating some fruit and drinking water and apple juice to stay hydrated.  NO I.V. or hep loc. I loved it- I hate having all that stuff on me.

My midwife was perfect.  She would come in about every hour or so and see how I was doing, offer a few suggestions on how to get labor going, see if I wanted to try anything else and then leave and let Matt and I do our thing.  I was worried a midwife would be too intrusive.  I like that Matt and I have our process down.  Matt knows me better than I know myself in labor. I block a lot of it out afterwards, but he remembers.  I didn't want a midwife to replace him; and she didn't at all, she was just the right amount of help.  I felt like everyone was so supportive in helping me labor the way I wanted.   It made the whole experience so calm and easy.  She was still  MUCH more involved than an OB that shows up at the end to catch the baby.  I could see how a midwife would be ideal for your first labor to keep you calm and help you manage the pain of the contractions.

The nurses station was right outside my door and they would all watch me do my laps.  My nurse told me afterwards that none of them thought I was in active labor because I looked way too relaxed and happy.  I wasn't smiling much that last hour.

 12:15 The new midwife, Mina, was supposed to come on duty at 12:30 so I said I'd get out then and do my 20 minutes of monitoring and get a pelvic check to see how much progress I'd made.  The contractions are getting pretty intense at this point, Matt is helping me with some breathing/counting techniques so I don't tense up. Matt really is an amazing labor coach- he remembered all the breathing and relaxing techniques like we'd just done it yesterday. I'm having a hard time finding a comfortable position.  I'm starting to feel a little out of control and I'm getting anxious for the next phase.

 During one hard contraction I tell Matt and really need to go to the bathroom and I get out of the tub. Usually a sign I'm getting close. I have a small amount of bloody show and I get back in a hospital gown.  I forgot to put back on my lucky black nursing bra (I delivered Charlotte and the twins in the same bra).  Mostly I like it because it offers some coverage but it's black so it doesn't show any stains.  I missed it later when they took off my bloody hospital gown and didn't have anything on for a good 2 hours except a blanket.  By baby #4 my modesty meter has gone way down.

I climb on the bed and lay on my side.  The next 20 minutes I'm having very hard contractions without the water to ease the pressure.  I didn't want to get back in the water either.  I felt very unsettled, nothing was comfortable.  I feel like my animal instincts always take over at this point and it's very blurry in my memories afterwards.  I wanted to look at Matt to help me breathe but I also wanted him to rub my lower back for counter pressure from the other side.  Mina shows up and checks me.  Dilated to a 10 -1 station.  She asks me if I have a position I would like to push from.  What an amazing idea to ask the mom how she wants to birth the baby!  Although it might have been nice to have a little more direction. I try all fours on the bed but I don't like the feeling of my belly hanging down.  Finally I face the wall kneeling on the bed and hold onto the top rail they have at the head of the bed.  It felt much more natural to push from that position, but I feel like I saw much less and knew what was going on less. The contractions are so intense and close together I can't think about anything else- Matt is just talking to me in a calm voice telling me we're almost there to meet the baby.

 12:50pm Finally my water breaks in a big burst like a water balloon popping. Everyone in the room makes a gasping noise.  I feel so much better, and it feels like he finally drops.  That bulging bag of waters really hung in there until the end.  The nurse kept saying his head was perfectly round like a c-section baby, probably because he waited so long to drop.

I'm trying to hold back pushing so I won't tear.  I tell Matt I feel like he's half out but Matt says his head is just crowning.  Finally I do a few more half pushes and then hold back.  I was trying not to push too fast or hard like I did with the other deliveries but it's so hard to resist the urge.  I felt the "ring of fire" feeling for the first time.  This felt much longer to me than with my other deliveries.  It was really only 10 minutes or so.  I think at this point with my other deliveries my OB just numbed me and did an episiotomy and I just pushed them out in a push or two.  This holding back to stretch out stuff is harder than just pushing.  The nurse swears he came out on his own between pushes- Matt thinks I was pushing.  I was too absorbed and I couldn't see anything.  I know I was pushing and then pausing and then he was out and crying good and loud.  Immediately the midwife told me to put my hands down and she delivered him and handed him with the cord still attached between my legs so I could hold him.  Then they helped me turn around and sit down.

Just this alone is reason enough to use a midwife.  There is nothing in the world as magical as getting to hold your baby the moment they are born.  I was smiling and crying.  I just kept telling him how much I loved him.

I told Matt, "He smells so wonderful to me."  That sounds weird but he really did.  It was amazing- I wish I could explain it better but it has to be experienced.  I feel very cheated I didn't get this experience with my other 3 kids.  Then the other amazing part- they didn't take him away- at all- for an hour! The peds nurse did his apgars (both 9s) while I was holding him- I didn't even notice the nurse I was too busy looking at Miles.  After about 10 minutes the nurse asked, "Is it really a boy?  We didn't even check yet!"  After a few minutes when the cord stopped pulsing so that Miles got all the cord blood, they let Matt cut the cord then they put the clamp on his belly and trimmed the cord shorter.  I tried to nurse him since he had been crying most of the first few minutes with his eyes closed.  He latched right on and didn't want to stop.  I ended up nursing him for the whole first hour because the nurse said to just let him go if he wanted to.  I felt bad that Matt didn't get to hold him, but nursing was the sweetest thing.  I was so amazed how well he did nursing.  None of my other kids wanted to nurse for more than 15 minutes tops.

During this time they're pushing on my stomach- which hurts like crazy but I'm so relieved and happy I don't care.  The huge endorphin rush after you deliver is the best feeling.  Another perk of him nursing so well is that they didn't give me a shot of pitocin afterwards like they usually do to help your uterus contract.  Nursing does the same thing.  I did still have some pretty painful after contractions when Miles would nurse but I feel like I bled less this time.

So the big question did I manage without a tear or episiotomy?  Alas, no that is always the one thing I can't seem to escape without.  Scar tissue is much harder to stretch- since I've already had 2 episiotomies.  I tried my best to hold back and go slower but I still had a very small tear.  The midwife said it was more like a scrape than a tear.  4 stitches and one suture later- she said I would have healed fine without them but she thought it might help.  The recovery has been about the same or maybe a little easier than my other episiotomies. The pushing stage was harder with trying to go slowly and without the numbing shot at the end.

It was a wonderful delivery.  I feel like I finally got a "normal" delivery without arriving 30 minutes before delivery or without all the craziness delivering twins brings.  I couldn't have imagined it to be any smoother or more perfect.  I would say all of my labors have been around the same length- I just went to the hospital at different stages.  I was much more sure of myself, and able to truly enjoy the journey, which was good because I wasn't mentally prepared to have him that early.  I did feel more nervous/anxious near the end knowing how hard it can get that last hour.

I felt like we really hit our stride with this third labor.  Hopefully I'll feel the same way raising him.  He gets the benefit of his parents already experimenting with the first 3 kids.  I feel like I fell in love and bonded with Miles so quickly.  He is such a sweet, calm baby.  Labor and delivery is such a miraculous life altering and empowering experience each time.  I feel so blessed I was able to experience a wonderful labor again and deliver our handsome son.   Welcome to the world Miles!

Congratulations if you made it to the end of this lengthy story! Thanks for reading!